Truth

I know these things to be true…
 

• Naps are not a waste of time. 

• There is great need for a sarcasm font. 

• Fitted sheets cannot be folded. Just wad them up.

• It was not necessary to learn cursive.

• Typing is not just for secretaries.

• Bad decisions make good stories. 

• Ignorance is temporary but stupid is permanent.

• One-size-fits-all is now one-size-fits-most and it still isn’t true.

• Part of my best friend's job is to immediately clear my computer’s history when I die. 

• Another part of my best friend’s job is to visit me in the hospital and get rid of my chin hairs if I’m incapacitated.

• Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 

• There is a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 

• The fact that the mouthwash and shampoo bottle look alike is a test of social Darwinism.

• I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 

• The Christmas holidays are not necessarily “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.”

• Google Maps, MapQuest, Garmin etc. need an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. 

• There is a fine, fine line between boredom and hunger. 

• The best way to avoid an argument with someone who is saying something stupid is to smile and nod.  Then get away as fast as you can.

• That moron cutting in and out of traffic thinks he’s a fabulous driver and doesn’t know the rest of us are getting out of his way.