Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Things I am sick to death of...

I've been  here over a half of a century. That is plenty of time to just get sick of some things. The older I get the crankier I get.  I may be turning into Maxine.  I'm am sick, I tell you, sick of the following:

Rheumatoid Arthritis commercials that tout some miracle drug.

People who tell me all about their problems but never listen to me.

Fish/Seafood- I don't like fish.  I've never liked fish.  I don't want to taste your fish recipe. I don't care how yummy you think it is.  Yuck.

Dieting - I've lost the same 30 pounds about 10 times.  I'm sick of dieting.  I want to eat ice cream and not feel guilty.

Fresh college graduates who think they are all that and a bag of chips.  I remember feeling that way and then feeling sort of stupid when I found out what I didn't know.

High heels and hose.  Never wearing them again.  Hose seem to have disappeared off the face of the earth.  So now women are supposed to have perfect legs without hose?  No spider veins, all tanned and toned. So women are supposed to wear those 5" heels on their bare foot?  Madness I say, madness.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Lent - a different perspective

Instead of deprivation being the focus during Lent,  I think the focus should be on getting rid of unnecessary and unhealthy things.  A few years back I gave up dread for Lent.  I focused on just taking life as it came.  I realized that by dreading something I was really suffering twice -- suffering by dreading something and suffering when the dreaded thing came about.  That's just dumb.

This year I'm giving up Puritan Work Ethic.  I grew up in Kansas on a farm.  There was always work to be done.  It was considered virtuous to alway be working.  The catchphrase "Idle hands are the devil's workshop" is practically embossed on my psyche.  The corollary to work is guilt and shame.  If you aren't working, or if you aren't working up to your potential, you *should* feel guilty and ashamed and repent.  Repenting of course means working even harder.  Very little joy with the Puritan Work Ethic.

The older I get the more I think maybe that's not right.  Perhaps being idle is a good and redemptive activity.  Just sitting in the yard watching the clouds and trees.  Just lolling around on the couch reading a good book or napping with the cat.  I'm going to try to do nothing and not feel guilty about it.  Now that's a Lenten challenge!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


I know these things to be true…
  • Naps are not a waste of time. 
  • There is great need for a sarcasm font. 
  • Fitted sheets cannot be folded. Just wad them up.
  • It was not necessary to learn cursive.
  • Typing is not just for secretaries.
  • Bad decisions make good stories. 
  • Ignorance is temporary but stupid is permanent.
  • One-size-fits-all is now one-size-fits-most and it still isn’t true.
  • Part of my best friend's job is to immediately clear my computer’s history when I die. 
  • Another part of my best friend’s job is to visit me in the hospital and get rid of my chin hairs if I’m incapacitated.
  • Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 
  • There is a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 
  • The fact that the mouthwash and shampoo bottle look alike is a test of social Darwinism.
  • I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 
  • The Christmas holidays are not necessarily “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.”
  • Google Maps, MapQuest, Garmin etc. need an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. 
  • There is a fine, fine line between boredom and hunger. 
  • The best way to avoid an argument with someone who is saying something stupid is to smile and nod.  Then get away as fast as you can.
  • That moron cutting in and out of traffic thinks he’s a fabulous driver and doesn’t know the rest of us are getting out of his way.