Published Comic

I was wasting time out the the world of the wide web and I happened across a comic strip generator.  

Special Education - Is the Cost Too Much?

I know that public schools are supposed to be providing a "free and appropriate" education for every child in the "least restrictive envirnoment."  At least that's what the law says.

I've got to believe that lawmakers would yell out "Whoa, Nellie" if they were to really get down in the trenches and see the consequences of the law.  Should education money be spent on changing diapers on 15 year olds and monitoring feeding tubes? I went in a special ed classroom the other day and there were two teachers and a paraeducator for one student - and he was on the floor taking a nap.

When anyone mentions the exorbitant cost of special ed the response is "Well, it's federally mandated."  Like the federal government is getting their money from some other source that our pockets.  That's our money, taxpayer money, just like state funding.

Special education parents and other stakeholders have powerful lobbys pushing for more and more special education requirements.  Who is out there lobbying for the regular ed kids?

Gotta love it...

Snapp-caps are the coolest.  I snap one on top of my Diet Coke (with lime) and I'm good to go.   My son says it looks like a binky or a sippy cup but I just ignore that.  Besides, I embrace the inner dork.

I think it's an everyday miracle. Drink doesn't go flat, doesn't spill when I knock it over, and I can always tell my can apart from the crowd.  

I bought mine at a street fair in Kingwood Texas but I'm sure there are other sources. 

Highly recommend it.  Maybe I could be their spokesmodel...Hmmm

Cursive Handwriting becoming Extinct?

When I was in elementary school in the mid 1960s, there were no computers, no calculators, and typewriters were only in the office. Teachers wrote on the blackboard with white chalk and they wrote in cursive. 

We were expected to be able to write and read cursive. Not only that, we were all expected to write exactly the same way.   We held our pencils exactly the same way, we formed the letters the same way, the letters were all uniform in size.

We had penmanship lessons.  First we traced the letters, then we created our own.  If ours didn't look exactly like the example, we did it again.   We got a grade for how well we were able to conform to the penmanship expectation.

When did all this stop?  Students hold pencils any way they want.  Letters are all different sizes and are formed any which way.  There is no uniform capitalization or spacing.  In short, its a mess.

 

An unintended result of never really learning how to write cursive is that students never really learn to read cursive.    Cursive is becoming extinct.  

I want Modifications too!

Students are entitled to the least restrictive environment. As a middle-school teacher, I think I’m entitled to the same. I want, for me, the least restrictive environment in my classroom. In order to achieve the least restrictive environment for students, the government mandates modifications to help that student achieve a maximum educational experience. Well, I want some modifications too.

1. Limited distracters—No student can have more than two modifications.

2. Extended time—The due date for all grades and paperwork can be extended up to two weeks.

3. Assignment books—Students and parents are responsible for assignment books. The teacher is not responsible to do a darn thing related to the student’s assignment books.

4. Required substitution—Before any parent can comment on anything that happens in any classroom, the parent is required to substitute teach in that classroom for a week.

5. Positive reinforcement—The teacher gets the choice of lots and lots of chocolate, lots and lots of liquor, or time out—you know, time alone to do what ever I darn well please.

6. Preferential seating— Who are we kidding here? Teachers don’t sit down. But we could restrict the type of students that are close to the teacher. For example, no tappers, hummers, snorters, or gas passers are allowed within 25 feet of the teacher.

7. Notetaking assistance—The teacher will not be required to take any notes or remember anything that is not provided to the teacher in writing.

8. Notifications—All parents of students in the teacher’s classroom will be required to attend a long, boring meeting where the teacher’s modifications are explained in excruciating detail to the parents. The parents will be required to make weekly reports as to whether they are complying with the modifications.

9. Limited distracters, redux—The teacher’s classes will be limited to students that actually capable of and are motivated to learn the subject matter. Students who are not motivated will be removed from the class. I don’t care where they are sent, just that they are gone.

10. Behavior modifications—In order to keep the top of the teacher’s head from blowing off, the students are required to modify their behavior.

a. The teacher is not required to say any instruction more than once.

b. The teacher will write the page number on the board and all students will refer to the board and not ask, “What page is it on?”

c. Students are prohibited from exclaiming, “There’s a test today?” when the class has been reviewing for the test for three days prior and the teacher has announced the test for nine consecutive days.

d. Students are prohibited from asking to go to the restroom when they know the teacher never let’s anyone go to the restroom.

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