Wordle of my Just Sayin' posts

Publish Post

Lent - a different perspective

Instead of deprivation being the focus during Lent,  I think the focus should be on getting rid of unnecessary and unhealthy things.  A few years back I gave up dread for Lent.  I focused on just taking life as it came.  I realized that by dreading something I was really suffering twice -- suffering by dreading something and suffering when the dreaded thing came about.  That's just dumb.

This year I'm giving up Puritan Work Ethic.  I grew up in Kansas on a farm.  There was always work to be done.  It was considered virtuous to alway be working.  The catchphrase "Idle hands are the devil's workshop" is practically embossed on my psyche.  The corollary to work is guilt and shame.  If you aren't working, or if you aren't working up to your potential, you *should* feel guilty and ashamed and repent.  Repenting of course means working even harder.  Very little joy with the Puritan Work Ethic.

The older I get the more I think maybe that's not right.  Perhaps being idle is a good and redemptive activity.  Just sitting in the yard watching the clouds and trees.  Just lolling around on the couch reading a good book or napping with the cat.  I'm going to try to do nothing and not feel guilty about it.  Now that's a Lenten challenge!

Truth

I know these things to be true…
 

• Naps are not a waste of time. 

• There is great need for a sarcasm font. 

• Fitted sheets cannot be folded. Just wad them up.

• It was not necessary to learn cursive.

• Typing is not just for secretaries.

• Bad decisions make good stories. 

• Ignorance is temporary but stupid is permanent.

• One-size-fits-all is now one-size-fits-most and it still isn’t true.

• Part of my best friend's job is to immediately clear my computer’s history when I die. 

• Another part of my best friend’s job is to visit me in the hospital and get rid of my chin hairs if I’m incapacitated.

• Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 

• There is a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 

• The fact that the mouthwash and shampoo bottle look alike is a test of social Darwinism.

• I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 

• The Christmas holidays are not necessarily “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.”

• Google Maps, MapQuest, Garmin etc. need an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. 

• There is a fine, fine line between boredom and hunger. 

• The best way to avoid an argument with someone who is saying something stupid is to smile and nod.  Then get away as fast as you can.

• That moron cutting in and out of traffic thinks he’s a fabulous driver and doesn’t know the rest of us are getting out of his way. 

Fontenot 2010 in Review

Fontenot 2010 in Review 

Click on the link to see an Animoto movie of my year.

You Might Be a Little Old Lady If...

I work with someone I considered a "little old lady." Then I found out that I was older than her.  Three years older than her.  OMG.  It was an earth shattering moment.  Could I be a "little old lady" and not know it?  I googled "little old lady."  You know what comes up?  Song lyrics from the Beach Boys  - "Little Old Lady from Pasadena."  This is not helpful.   So I started thinking, "What is the definition of 'little old lady'?"  What characteristics would label one a "little old lady?"

You might be a little old lady if you...

• call butter Oleo
• call your purse a pocketbook
• reuse paper plates
• reuse Ziplock bags
• put food in your pocketbook at restaurants "for later"
• have a Kleenex tucked into your sleeve
• write checks to buy groceries
• have waitresses read the menu to you so you don't have to put on your glasses
• have a coin purse so you will always be ready to pay with the correct change
• have people call you to tell you they sent you an email
• know all the words to every Perry Como song
• own and wear themed holiday sweaters
• save pickle jars "just in case"
• have a cough drop, a Kleenex and a Vicodin in your pocket
• smell vaguely of Vick's Vaporub, Ben Gay, and Purell
• have driven for ten miles with your turn signal on because your turn is "coming up" 
• go to the beauty parlor once a week for a wash and set

Since in this scenario, I control the parameters, I am not a "little old lady."  Is there a parallel category where I can be as old as a "little old lady" but still not be one?  I volunteer for the mission to go find out.

(Cue "Star Trek" music)

Aging but remaining cool: the final frontier. These are the voyages of BeadQueen . Her continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.  

  Get us out of here, Mr. Sulu.

Hairography

Hair is an ongoing issue.  My hair is too curly to be straight and to straight to be curly.  I did the whole '80s thing with the perms and hair dye.  I've had spiral perms, highlights, lowlights, straightening conditioners and basically I am over it.

I quit perming and dying my hair ten or so years ago.  Now I'm about 25% grey.  I call it natural silver sparkle highlights.  I'm not good friends with the flat iron straightener either.  I burned my ear, forehead, and toe.  I dropped it, okay?

Perhaps I shouldn't have chosen to live in a city with 90% humidity 90% of the year if I wanted obedient hair.  So if you see me today, don't judge me by my hair.  It is having a bad day.